One can find many people who have been living here for years, not knowing who their neighbours are. Most people living here are just 'passing through'. Some stick around for more than twenty years; others leave within the first year. The nature of such a working environment is that there is an overall reluctance to building relationships. Not knowing how long the other might stay takes away the interest of investing time in building the relationship. Unfortunately this kind of behaviour can easily turn into a threatening habit. Bosses develop difficulties dealing with their subordinates, parent with their children and husband with their spouses. The saying 'it takes two to tango' is true, but somebody has to take the first step. I observe symptoms of this 'disease' and am often surprised how I get used to some of these:

• Phone calls not being returned
• People arriving late at meetings
• During meetings taking other incoming calls

Although I have noticed that I got used to these behaviours, I will certainly not qualify them as 'acceptable'.

Why do we allow ourselves to be part of this process if we are operating in a framework of a regional culture claiming to put high values on relationship?

If somebody needs to take the first step it can only be the one I can influence most: ME. Once I do not allow myself being dragged into this appalling behaviour and try to lead by example some changes might be noticeable in time!

Sit back a little and think what would make you very happy. How do you want to be treated and try to figure out how other people would feel? In this festive month we are very close to the world championship of promises on December 31st. At that day the world will be changed and everybody starts the New Year with the best intentions, most of which will be proven unattainable by midday January 1st. Why not start 2004 by making a commitment to ourselves to behave professional and mature in all the interactions with others? The WIFM factor (what is in it for me) is simple: better relationships with clients, peers, bosses and spouses and others. Some of us might even experience that it triggers a change in people around us: Start spreading the ANTIVIRUS. Realize that companies do not do business with companies but people do business with people. It is my wish for 2004 that everybody reading this message will be cured by this antivirus and becomes a living example of professional relation building. I wish all of you and all of your families a great Insightful 2004 with many, many successful relationships.

For more information, contact: Cees WM Nieboer, Managing Director, Synergetics - Insights

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